Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
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