He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize