I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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