U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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