Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
