My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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