You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
