I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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