Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
