is your mom at the bar?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
