i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
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Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
The ass gains better be worth it
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