As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
What drink are we having for lunch?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
