i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
