If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
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Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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