i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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