Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
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