Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
