oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
