I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
