She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
