Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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