I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
