perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Blood and glitter go together right?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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