? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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