I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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