Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
