That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
