the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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