he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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