if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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