Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
