When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize