Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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