I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
