Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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