can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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