do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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