my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
