**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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