she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
