remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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