Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
