I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
We need to rekindle our bromance
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
