absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
