Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
