Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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