Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
She said her name was "party"
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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