Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
