You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
