'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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