do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
