you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Randomize
