Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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