You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
