how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
