you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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