Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
