He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
