We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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