I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick