Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(810): View more from Michigan

Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??

Fav 2 1462 1771
share tweet
(949): View more from California

I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.

Fav 4 1358 1831
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(480): View more from Arizona

so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.

Fav 91 4650 16936
share tweet
(713): View more from Texas

you win again, gameday.

Fav 34 3345 829
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(410): View more from Maryland

She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.

Fav 85 1547 13039
share tweet
(907): View more from Alaska

The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.

(907): View more from Alaska

Nevermind, it's not water.

Fav 24 7483 1098
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?

(509): View more from Washington

You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.

Fav 7 4165 1000
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(218): View more from Minnesota

If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.

Fav 0 849 550
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(224): View more from Illinois

i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.

Fav 0 28 12
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT