this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?