Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed