Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i think my mom watched the whole time
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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