Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We have started to decorate penises.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
A+ Viking dick
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
